Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML
Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
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