beararm

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old sister, naked, streaming herself eating a banana. FML

Today, my future husband presented me with an engagement ring he had had engraved with the pet name he calls his cat. FML

Today, I had to hide some Oreos inside my bra to motivate my husband to get close to me. FML

Today, I pronounced FAQ as 'fuck' to my boss. I'm not a native speaker. FML

Today, I had to get two teenagers to stop playing bumper cars with the electric scooters at the grocery store I work at. I'm seventeen, and they don't pay me enough for this. FML

Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML

Today, I almost got our office burned down by plugging the wrong charger into a laptop cooling fan. Tried to hide the incident and kept it casual but the smoke detector led it to my area and everyone knew I was the culprit. I'm a new hire too. FML