Mademoiselle Stalking Are We??!, 'Murca Célibataire
Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML
Today, my drunk mom kicked me out of my own birthday party, calling me a "party-pooper" and saying I was killing everyone's buzz. FML
Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML
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