benjilover4evr

Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

Identity crisis

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML