Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
listner1
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The officer was nice and let me off with just a warning. That is, until my dipshit brother yelled "Fucking pig!" out the window as the officer walked back to his car. FML
Mario Kart is serious business
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML