Yaya8085

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

Today, I told my girlfriend about my extreme fear of flying roaches. She immediately got upset because she thought, since I'm from the Caribbean, I would be "manlier" and "eat stuff like that for breakfast". FML

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML