kowsee

Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

Unfazed and dazed

Today, I found out that licking your very chapped lips while totally zoned out and looking in the general direction of a girl, will end up with you becoming the massive college creeper that everyone avoids. FML