elizabethia

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

Today, I opened up to my parents about my depression. Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was. FML

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML