mollspuff

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

Today, I had to ask one of my coworkers if we were supposed to return a client's teeth to her. I work at a jewellery store. FML

Congrats

Today, after constant avoidance, I saw the man who slept with my mother and caused my parents to get divorced. I desperately wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I had to smile and shake his hand as he gave me my diploma. FML

Planning ahead

Today, my boss called me in to have a serious talk. The "serious talk" was him asking me to notify him of my menstrual cycle ahead of time so he can "avoid that shit". FML

Abandoned

Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out, "Hello" had turned into a date. FML

Today, one of my idiot classmates decided it was a good idea to throw his water bottle across the room to his friend. Unfortunately, I was sitting in front of his friend. I now have a very noticeable bruise and bump near my temple along with a headache. Everybody laughed at me. Even the teacher. FML

Today, I had finally summoned the courage to break up with my boyfriend, something I've needed to do for a long time. Right before my speech, he presented me with tickets to my favorite band a month from now. FML

Today, thanks to the unholy power of autocorrect, I told my mother-in-law that "crispy dick" is on the menu tonight. FML