cperagui

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

Today, my blind date tried to sell me a vacuum. I bought it. FML

Today, I went on a blind date. As I waited for him in a pet-friendly mall, my friend said, "He's eccentric and has swag!" I didn't exactly know what she meant until I met him. He arrived with a miniature horse with a light pink coat and puffy fuchsia mane and tail. FML

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

Potholer

Today, my husband's dick went in the wrong hole. And by the wrong hole, I mean another man’s anus. FML

These 10 Photos Perfectly Exemplify Healthcare In America

... Or, the lack-thereof. FML.