Today, my long-distance girlfriend asked me if she could see someone else on the side. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML
Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
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