TitansFury

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on us while we were playing naked twister. FML

Get them away from me

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML