Today, I went onto my band's MySpace just to check if we had any new comments or anything like that and I noticed that I was listed as a past member. Nobody ever told me I was replaced. FML
Today, while tuning my bass guitar, I noticed a very strange screeching sound. I leaned over to look behind the neck. The biggest string snapped off and cut the side of my face. FML
Today, I was told that in order to be considered for more jobs, I should remove my college degree from my resume. FML
Today, I tried to contact my birth mother, who abandoned me when I was three weeks old. After months of tracing, I finally plucked up the courage to call her. She told me to "f*ck off and die". FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
Today, after creating a swear jar for my son, I came back to find a $20 bill in it and him saying, "How much does that buy?" FML
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