Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: "I'm keeping them just in case..." - "In case of what?" - "In case I want to dress up like an asshole". FML
hayleybaaby
Mademoiselle
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
Tactical nuke
Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, I was reading FML's birthday blog post and saw a picture of myself in it. I would've been happy if it wasn't #4 in the list of worst duckfaces of the week. FML