Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML
kismet_phoenix
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
Spooky season
Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. Now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML