Choking hazard
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
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