Today, was my first day at school. I got kicked out of the class for imitating a monkey. I wasn't imitating a monkey... I was laughing. FML
demers32
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Shyness alert
Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML