guimond

Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML

Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML

ARE YOU SORRY?

Today, during PE, I got hit in the face with the ball. Everyone cheered because we got 5 extra points. No one asked if I was okay. FML

Today, my parents, not trusting me and my boyfriend, told us to call them in the middle of our movie so they could hear it, and prove we weren't up to no good. Well, I called. Just as a raging sex scene started. FML