Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
RinoaHeartilly
Mademoiselle Delling City, Galbadia 44 ans En couple
Creep
Today, I ran into my manipulative ex-boyfriend at a party. We were chatting and I mentioned that the guys I have been seeing lately all turn out to be jerks. He said, "Yeah well, you dumped me and don't deserve to be happy." Apparently he has been creeping and scaring off any guys interested in me. FML
Unfair
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year-old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
Today, I was written up. Too many customers complained that I don't wear makeup or do my hair. I got written up for being ugly. FML
You what now?
Today, I heard a girl say, "Darth Vader is that black guy from Star Trek, right?" FML