Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML
Today, it's been a full week since my last orthodontist appointment and I still can't eat anything besides Slimfast and pudding. FML
Today, I was arguing with a friend over whether or not I'm fat. She kept telling me that I was. Angry, I sat down on the chair beside her. It broke. FML
Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he sat down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML
Today, my car was broken into, on the same night I stayed up late researching how to install my new car alarm. FML
Today, I took my younger sister to see Santa for a photo. Santa insisted that I was in the photo too. I wasn't sure why he made such a big deal about it until he groped me while the photo was being taken. FML
Today, my 19-year-old brother subjected me to yet another rant about how the writers of My Little Pony aren't writing the show for people like him any more, the "true fans", otherwise known as pimply-faced adults who don't use deodorant and only shower once a week. FML
Today, a girl I've never met before came up to me and punched me in the face, because she wanted to get suspended. FML
Today, my mum is on a week-long trip. Everything was fine, until I realised she forgot to leave me any money. Now I'm out of food. FML
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