sammy_b_with_e

Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML

Today, my fiancée told me she can't marry me. Our wedding day is tomorrow and around 20 of our 180 guests attending have travelled half way around the world just for the occasion. FML