Today, while snow plowing I accidentally ran over my kid's basketball. I told him what had happened and he responded by spilling his ant farm into my underwear drawer. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML
Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML
Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML
Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML
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