lilhurt

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML

Splatter

Today, I had a sneeze attack while my nose was bleeding. Now my living room looks like a crime scene. FML

Ouch

Today, I dislocated my toe while putting on my socks. FML