Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year-old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML
Today, after driving for four hours to visit my best friend for the New Year's break, she still hasn't finished up her Skype conversation and left her room to greet me. She knows I'm here. I've spent the last hours watching YouTube videos with her cat. FML
Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML
Today, the guy I'm dating took me to a dinner party at a couple's house. Halfway through dinner, I realized they were having the dinner party for the sole purpose of introducing him to their recently single daughter. FML
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