sassygrl5

GuitarChick42 4 avril 2009, 18:15 United States 🌶️ Épicée

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

381 commentaires

Van 20 décembre 2009, 06:32 United States

Today, I was at work at Hollywood Video. A guy came in and left without renting anything. Minutes later, I find human feces between the "Kids" and "Comedy" aisles. FML

83 commentaires

blackandblue 2 novembre 2010, 16:26 United States

Today, I was waiting for a friend to pick me up. It was after dark and I was nervous, so when he pulled up I immediately jumped in the car. The young girl in the driver's seat started freaking out, screaming and punching me in the face repeatedly. I'd accidentally gotten in the wrong car. FML

59 commentaires

curlyisnogood 10 janvier 2011, 00:19

Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML

147 commentaires

SkinsCastSelection 17 janvier 2011, 20:13 Belgium

Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML

186 commentaires

Dickhead 25 novembre 2011, 15:02 Lebanon 🌶️ Épicée

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

176 commentaires

Anonymous 27 décembre 2011, 15:53 United States

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

155 commentaires

blegh 27 décembre 2011, 21:50 United Kingdom 🌶️ Épicée

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

370 commentaires

anonymous 27 décembre 2011, 22:32 United States 🌶️ Épicée

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML

203 commentaires

thankzbabe 4 janvier 2012, 12:32 United States 🌶️ Épicée

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

217 commentaires

omgwhyme 8 janvier 2012, 14:36 United States 🌶️ Épicée

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

311 commentaires

eakthegeek Ça date de 2012 mais c'est de la bonne United States 🌶️ Épicée

Booktok

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

181 commentaires