zrc01

Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML

Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML

Coincidence

Today, I was moving to my new apartment. I left some furniture outside as I drove to dump the first load at my new place. When I got back, everything was gone. Apparently, today is the day the donation truck was coming around to take everything we don't need. FML

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

Bad ********

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML