Today my dad yelled at me for turning on the tv while he was asleep on the couch. He yelled that it was his house and he can do what he wants. For dinner I went to a nice place and brought leftovers for my brother. Guess who ate every bite. FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
We scoured Twitter to bring you this selection of our favorite tweets. Enjoy!
Today, I had a dream wherein a deep, sensual voice was talking sexy to me. "Yeah girl, you want this. Mmm." It wasn't the man of my dreams trying to seduce me. It was a piece of chocolate cake. FML
Today, I woke up in an amazing mood and practically jumped out of bed, only to fall flat on my face. In my half-asleep daze I'd forgotten that I'm missing a leg. FML
It's Tweet time! Enjoy the best of the best on Twitter from this past week.
This sort of run-in with the law is an even more unfortunate FML than usual.
Remember the FML that was these old textbooks? What a dark time.
What an M. Night Shyamalan-esque twist!
... And creating your own FMLs, which will be featured in next year's article.
Happy Sunday! Or, as it's more informally known, pre-Monday. We all know what an FML the beginning of the school and work week can be. This is why we do what we do. We bring you tweets so you can laugh at other people's misery and start your week right. Yes, we do it for you. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the hilarity.
Like FMLs, but illustrated.
A car accident is a total FML, but eyeliner still intact? That's a win.
We wanna say "Kids say the darndest things" but Bill Cosby kinda FML'd that up for us.
It gets you from point A to point B, so quit bitching.
Long gone are the cutesy monikers, and in are the "WTF, how did we even get here" names.
Ladies can't resist a bearded man. Well, most of them, at least.
Diabeetus
Y'all missed that whole "It's permanent" memo? FML.
If you're not on Twitter, you're really missing out. Fuck your life. But luckily for you, you've got us to do the hilarious tweet finding for you anyway. This week we've got jokes about the Facebook trial, all the sad (but still funny) tweets about the recent Kardashian scandal, plus much much more. Enjoy!
*umtiss umtiss umtiss umtiss* FML
The shirt looks cute so why not wear it, right? Wrong. Major FML.
Terrible bosses can be a huge FML. Props to the good ones, like this.
Smells like FML.
"I SEE FACES EVERYWHERE. FML."
Today, my 5-year-old son made a drawing of our living room, with the addition of an apparition, and the text, "I can see you. Daddy doesn't see you. Who are you?" FML
Need a laugh? Well, don't we all. The good news is you've come to the right place. From crazy hairdo's to self deprecation to awkward public fighting, we've got what you're looking for. The videos from this week are on fire, kids. So make sure to find some headphones and don't skip out on any gems. Plus, dogs. All the dogs. Enjoy!
You think waiting for season 3 is an FML? Try throwing an entire party to celebrate your love for the show, and having no one show up.
FML for you, kid. We hope you remember to stretch first.
FML for the girlfriends and wives of these big dopes. Though, they're sometimes good for a laugh.
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