Today, my best friend texted me saying she is determined to find out what skank her brother is sneaking around with. I've been secretly dating her brother for months; apparently I'm the skank. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML
Today, while driving home, I realized I forgot my house key. Luckily, when I arrived home, someone had already broken into my house. Guess I didn't need the key. FML
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