Today, I was set up on my first blind date since my divorce. My expectations were low, but when she showed up, she was a smoking hot. She was way out of my league, she was delightful and kind throughout the date, but my low confidence shined through. That night she acquired an expensive dinner and a stalker. Me. FML
Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML
Today, I took my Switch into work because I was the only one working, I figured if everyone had the day off, I could enjoy some me time. It turns out I did nothing but work. I put my Nintendo Switch with the bag orders I had to deliver to the post office, but I forgot to take out the Switch out of the bag. FML
Today, I've had a cold for over a week, and I've been coughing so hard, I bruised my ribs. I'm also 8 months pregnant. Guess where my son likes to kick me. FML
Today, I realized that no one at work actually tells me when there’s a rule change, they just punish me and then try to gaslight me into believing it’s always been a rule. FML
Today, my wife told me the only reason she doesn’t want kids is because she requires privacy to poop. That’s it. That’s the dealbreaker. FML
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