Mademoiselle Milford, USA 28 ans Célibataire
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML
Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML
Today, I had to clean up after the kid who discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "Douche bag!" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML
Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML
Today, I chipped a tooth trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. FML
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