ReapercrewohioVP

Ain't it funky

Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML

Entitlement

Today, I went to the supermarket with my husband and kids. A crazy old man started yelling at us and challenged us to fight him outside. Security had to escort us to our car. Why was he so mad? Our cart momentarily blocked his path to the beef jerky samples. FML

Thanks, I guess…

Today, I got undressed in front of my boyfriend for the first time. His reaction? "You're chubbier than I expected." FML

Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism." FML

Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML