countrywomen

33 ans

jennabee97 8 novembre 2014, 23:02 Ottawa, Canada 🌶️ Épicée

Congratulations!

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

84 commentaires

Anonymous 9 novembre 2014, 18:23 🌶️ Épicée

Teenagers in love

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said, "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

85 commentaires