JayThrntn

Today, while my 8-year-old was at school, I got a call saying that he shat and peed himself and then attacked a girl with his shit. FML

Today, while dreaming, I was thirsty and grabbed a glass of water to drink. The taste was so horrible that it caused me to wake up and realize I was drinking the isopropyl alcohol I keep on my nightstand for my CPAP machine. All Poison Control had to say was, "Uh oh." FML